They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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