I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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