..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
