He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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