hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
