Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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