Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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