The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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