The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
