sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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