What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
