She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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