I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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