I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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