walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
