What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
