Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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