My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
