I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
