Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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