am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
