he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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