I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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