I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
