I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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