I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
