I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize