so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
