areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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