Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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