how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
