i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
