I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
