can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
