dude i'm inner monologue high
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
