its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
