When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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