Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
