Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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