So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
