Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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