i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
