I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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