some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
