The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fuck appropriateness.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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