barbara walters just said penis...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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