she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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