I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
