i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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