What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
