So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
