I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
