You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
