No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Randomize
