So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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