Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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