i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize