"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
