apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
