I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is Oprah even human
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