I think i peed on brittanys purse
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
