so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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