i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can text with my tongue
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
