i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
