when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just gift wrapped bread.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
